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B. Mark's Theme

from Perhap (Single) by RAN

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lyrics

Lyrics written in January/February 2010

I kicked you out of our safe house when safe turned to dangerous spite
We'd both been starting fires in each other's wardrobes for weeks
While the neighbors kept saying how terrible it is, how terrible

And then I did what so many do in the wake of these evictions;
I filled my house with people, my liver with beer and started again
Made easier when I kept telling myself how terrible it was to feel
Seven centimeters tall, seven years old at nineteen
How terrible for you to have been stuck in here with me.
This is for the both of us.

And so I would repeat to myself 'We're better off in separate homes
Without seeing, reading or hearing about
The 'whens' the 'wheres' the 'whys' the 'who's fucking who now?' ''
All I want to hear from the gossip delivering voices is that you're doing okay now
But you're not doing okay now
The front page on the paper each day says you've lost yourself
The words begin to tie these knots in my stomach that I can't undo
'Cause though you coul not even call us friends,
I don't want any pain to come to you

If you're walking around in rags I can't clothe you
If you're fucking that guy well that's great, I'm happy for you.
If you've done every shit drug under the sun
What right do I have to pay any attention?
Because I'm not a part of your life,
Just the part that made you cry, the part that threw you right outside.
The boy who doesn't want you to come back still has all of the nerve to show this concern
When I'm told about the snowfall falling up your nose on the couch at a friend's home
Or about what you said, or what they did (speculation grows)
When I hope that all these rumors are nothing more than shitty rumors…
What right do I have to talk to you, or to write a song about you?
Or to show concern for you when I've abandoned you?

credits

from Perhap (Single), track released August 26, 2010

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RAN Wicklow, Ireland

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