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RAN

by RAN

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1.
Clusters 03:41
I dig out my eyes from my head and seat them so comfortably atop this wall surrounding me. I watch myself from a separate stare and see me dying just to be seen as something I know I am not. But still I contemplate how tough can I make this look, thumb in my mouth and my finger in my nose. It’s okay, nobody’s watching. When you’re staring down the bottom of your gullet that’s a plastic cup and a scream from your mother says “Son, will you please back up?” Don’t stare too long, you’re strung in, out. Some movements? None. And they’ll call us soft again. Your supple hand in a cusp to shield against a hypothetical wind, when there are smaller candles, burning faster, mocking the sad state you're in. "Gimme time, you'll eat your words" in a mutter as you limp off stage. Nursing colours, hissing inwards, ‘cause damn it kid you know you'll have your day. So should I change this so when I see myself I’ll see a changed man, a better person? Well I spent this long just trying to be me and now I can be. So I will put these eyes back in my head, perfectly satisfied with who I am and always have been.
2.
Ailment 04:00
If there’s anything, if there’s… anything. If there’s anything I can do to stop this, this heavy breathing. To focus now; surfing. To be satisfied, only when you’re satisfied so I can’t be ashamed of this sickness. This sickness of men. Give me a cure. The sickness that makes us not men but quivering disasters. I want to see myself in yourself longer. I want to see you looking like you’re having fun. I want to see myself in yourself longer, when this ailment has gone. If the damage is done then how can we move on? Please tell me if there’s anything. If the damage is done then how can we move on? How can we? If there’s anything…
3.
I live in a safe house. You walk past my door each day. And though I’m perfectly fine in here I watch you pass by. I’ll keep myself… I’ll keep myself under… I’ve got this affliction, this addiction. I’ve got this under control.
4.
5.
You pull the centre pole out, we tumble down again. We’re nothing but rubble left on the ground. Hunched down, we clear away the sediments again, again, again. And lift ourselves up with our hands, we promise not to let this happen again, but it happens. I can’t stop this.
6.

about

Originally released on Neck Deep Records in August 2009

credits

released August 19, 2009

RAN are Johnny Heffernan, Mark O'Brien, Stephen Hughes and Sean Higgins

Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Eoin Whitfield at The Hive

Art and Design by Alex Sinclair, Mark O'Brien and Will Rice

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RAN Wicklow, Ireland

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